Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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