so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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