So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
