my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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