I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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