I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
