playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
