...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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