and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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