i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
