One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize