no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
