Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
