I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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