They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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