He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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