My entire life is one complicated drinking game
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
