I think I died a long time ago.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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