I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
my poor anus
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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