I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just saw a hot homeless man
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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