Where are you?
In a non slutty way
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
