how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
