Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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