I want to walk on stilts...naked
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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