I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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