guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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