Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
