we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
