Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize