On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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