the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
