she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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