I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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