Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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