that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize