I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
