If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I'm really busy with my period
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