I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
It's never too late to be topless.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
