I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
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you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
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I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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