Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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