I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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