So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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