my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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