at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize