How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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