I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
