You just made me feel so damn special
She is in my trunk
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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