I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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