No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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