Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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