Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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