What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
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He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
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While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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