I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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