JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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