May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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