brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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