I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
