dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
