okay pat passed out under dana's car
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You took a bar mat shot.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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