butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Randomize
